Shakhan are Davyd and Rosie Homan who come to us from New Zealand via London. Their debut album ‘The System’ is – according to their self-written press release - “controversial” , "not for the faint-hearted" and is “a set of protest songs that have a dark lyrical content”. They declare with pride: “There are no covers here”.
Using many different instruments the album was recorded on an Apple Mac in their loft which they’ve converted into a home studio.
On the evidence of this CD a third bedroom would have been a wiser investment.
Opening track, ‘The System’ apparently has a “racy pace”, assuming the pace-setter is a tortoise with a limp. It provides an opportunity for Shakhan to ask the question, ‘Can you beat THE SYSTEM?’ (Their capitals).
Luckily, Shakhan provide an idiot’s guide to kick-starting the revolution. To beat THE SYSTEM involves ‘waiting, waiting, anticipating / like wanting a coat from a possum’.
However, this strategy comes at a price as it left Shakhan feeling 'like a still standing tree’ and forced them to assume this position, ‘from before seven to all the way past eleven’. So, no gain without pain.
On ‘Religion’ Shakhan have a pop at..erm..Religion. The song kicks off with a church organ sound (oh, the irony) leading one to suspect that the whole song could not have been written without some field research. My suspicions are confirmed with this rapier-like satirical swipe, ‘I heard someone shout – “JOY be upon you” – but I think it slipped off.’
Unfortunately, the field research did not provide all the answers Shakhan were searching for. Outstanding queries are:
1. ‘Why’s he carrying that great big shepherd’s crook?’
2. ‘Who puts a bandage on a bandage when there’s no cut on the thumb?’ and
3. ‘Why the bells the smells and what’s that thing?’*
Answers on a postcard please.
On the slightly more successful ‘I Protest About Love’, I’m bizarrely reminded of Roxy Music’s ‘In Every Dream Home a Heartache’ particularly when Shakhan implore ‘I weep, and like a sheep / my heart bleats for love, love, love, love.’ Which is about the point where I lose it.
Gathering myself I quickly realise that ‘Silent Screams’ is truly awful, both in song and verse. Shakhan tell us that they do not believe in abortion and feel the best way to let us know their feelings is by describing one. They also want us to know that they hear ‘silent screams throughout the land’. This scene is set to the musical equivalent of a bad hangover and delivered with a strangled David Sylvian vocal that would leave one giggling like a schoolgirl were it not for the subject matter.
Having protested at some big and obvious targets, Shakhan turn their attention to those shady characters, middlemen, on the aptly titled ‘Middleman’. I’m told in the press release that this song is “a cry from the heart that many a working man can relate to.” Being a working man myself I’m eager to relate.
Shakhan are smarting from some horrible rip-off merchant. Davyd lays into his middleman by declaring, ‘Don’t judge me by your plumb line because / its blowing in the wind, blowing in the wind’. Without time to draw breath he also puts the boot in with, ‘Listen to me and hear my words / around you there is no halo. Yes, there is no halo’. Got that scumbag?
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Having winded his opponent I’m expecting the knock-out blow, but instead Davyd simply walks off, ‘Oh now’s the time, time, time for me, time for me to go’. Come back Davyd I’ve not fully related to this song. Where’s the killer punch?
Realising they’re running out of hard disk space, Shakhan gather up a few protests in one bumper pack of a song called ‘Living In A Land’. Targets include those who damage the environment and stay away dads. More heart warmingly, the track provides the unexpected, but no less welcome, return of that long forgotten pre-programmed keyboard sound: ORCHESTRA HIT!
There’s still time for ‘Beautiful’ and its plea for women to act in a manner more befitting to their sex. Lines such as ‘Is the apple pie going rotten?’ and the finger wagging ‘Return to your former days, / Yes return to your former ways’ set the tone admirably. That tone being annoying preachy preachy.
Musically, ‘Justice Oh Justice’ is an homage to the tune that accompanies the medal ceremony on Super Mario Kart and is all about…..oh just look at the title and work it out for yourselves.
When Davyd opens the final track with ‘In this song I do lament…’ my hopes for the token "light-hearted throw-away tune at the end of the album" are quickly dashed.
Having run out of key sections of the human race to lambast Shakhan are left with the queation that really gets their goat ‘Where Has The Kauri Forest Gone?’
Anyone?
In all likelihood it’s been chopped down by absentee fathers working for polluting big business while dating women who should know (and dress) better, but by this stage I don’t really care.
In terms of music genre I cannot even begin to say where this sits. Ostensibly its folk. If you want specifics: Try to imagine some dodgy 70's British film soundtrack, composed by monks and played by a small orchestra of bad art students who are watching repeats of old children's TV programmes.
Davyd Homan writes and sings on all but one of the songs. For him music is either a dirge or just a bad composition. Lyrically, he’s great at finger pointing and pontificating but lacks any wit or wisdom to warrant his songs ever enjoying a meaningful association with Protest.
Rosie Homan's only song (‘Journalists’) is by far and away the best thing on this CD, being a simple protest song with a simple tune, delivered in a charming if artless voice.
Time to go solo methinks.
* yes, these are the lyrics.
www.shakhan.com
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