Review:
'FIVE O'CLOCK HEROES'
'London, Camden Barfly, 3rd November 2005'
- Genre: 'Indie'
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Our Rating:
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When I initially saw the members of the New York-based FIVE O' CLOCK HEROES, the first thing I immediately noticed was how much they looked like The Strokes. The second thing that hit me like a frying pan to the head, was how utterly handsome they were. The I remembered that I used to harbour HUGE crushes on all the Stroke members, so it made sense.
I was breaking out in a sweat, I couldn't concentrate on the music. All I could think about was how nice Elliot Thompson (lead guitar) looked in that brown jacket.
I came round from my rose-tinted reverie to the realisation that their opening song was a complete and total rip off of "Louie, Louie" by The Kingsmen. But I didn't care because I liked the way that when Andrew Ellis' (vocals) hair fell in front of his face, he flipped his head to the side in a really endearing manner.
I mean, Ellis hasn't got the best voice on the planet, and their songs are thoroughly generic (you name it, Hot Hot Heat [only much better], the Strokes, The Jam, The Libertines, any other sharp-edged angular pop band, etc, etc), but who cares when you look like that?
Well for a start, I should imagine that most of the blokes in the audience would. In fact I think they'd probably get bored after a while, and any chance of competing with these guys in the looks stakes and hence pulling, is just plain unrealistic.
Anyway, musically, the 5 O' Clock Heroes aren't doing anything that hasn't been done before, but (sigh...) the singer/guitarist/bass player (I was too short to see the drummer) all have eyes that would melt icebergs. Mmmmmmmm...
Whoops, there I go again. I'll concede that they are charismatic performers, and the songs are ok I guess, but at one point I shut my eyes, and the glamour fell away - they weren't all that. Although worthy of note was an interesting track towards the end of the set that sounded like a Bar Mitzvah version of Supertramps' "Breakfast in America", which was fun to hear.
If the only thing that stood out for me was how absolutely lush they were, as opposed to how amazing their music was (which it wasn't), then something is going wrong. Saying that, there are plenty of dolly birds who get by on looks alone, I mean for crying out loud, look at James Blunt.
Oh please Mr Guitarist, STOP GYRATING! Honestly, it got too much at one point as I stood there fanning myself with my notepad. Interestingly, there were a lot of young girls at the front, and apparently some of them were wearing braces. All the better for me I thought, so off I went to pull...erm sorry, "Interview" Elliot Thompson after their uneventful, but otherwise acceptable performance.
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And it was like trying to get blood out of a stone. Apart from the fact that I lost my cool, blushed furiously, and giggled a bit too much (he must have thought I was mad), he just didn't have that much to say at all.
For example, when asking him what was his first album he ever bought and why, he replied "Thriller," then a bit of a pause, "Because it was good." Ladies and gentlemen you have now entered an irony-free zone.
Ok, so what about if I was to come to New York for the first time, what would he recommend me to do? No I wasn't trying to get a date out of him. Well, maybe a little... To which he replied, "I guess, like, maybe get some pizza or some American food, cause, like, your food over here is, like, so gross." Right ho then.
He spoke briefly about the 5 O' Clock Heroes recently playing with the Bravery and the Paddingtons. How was it then? "It was awesome, great." I did say it was brief.
The only point where I managed to get any genuine reaction was when I suggested that as they were big on the New York scene, did they know the Strokes, and if so maybe this influenced their music? He got noticeably edgy at this, and perhaps slightly annoyed, saying "No we don't know them. I mean, maybe Andrew knows them a bit, like, we've met them and, like, yeah we go to the same places, but I wouldn't say that we knew them. no, not at all." Taking oneself a tad too seriously maybe?
After that it was time to go. I saw my fantasy date eating "delicious NY pizza" as opposed to "disgusting UK food" with the handsome yet apparently vacant members of 5 O' Clock Heroes evaporating into thin air, and I gladly trotted back to reality, and the quality British fish n chip shop.
Yes, like most of the other red-blooded females in the crowd, I nearly keeled over when they strutted onto the stage like the peacocks they so clearly are. And like peacocks, they are very nice to look at, but not much else is going on where it really matters.
Their new single, White Girls, is released on Glaze Records UK, on the 14th November. Its alright.
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author: Sian Owen / Pics: Ben Broomfield
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READERS COMMENTS
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hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...
------------- Author: lars
13 November 2005
Your grand conclusion stated that; "like peacocks, they are very nice to look at, but not much else is going on where it really matters."
This is blatantly an absurd and ill-informed comparison, as the peacock has a long tradition of importance and symbolism to a great many cultures....
------------- Author: lars
13 November 2005
-In China, the bird was a symbol of the Ming Dynasty. The Chinese equated the peacock with divinity, rank, power, and beauty.
-In Islamic folklore, the peacock stood guard at the gates of Paradise
-The Peacock is a favorite bird on many coats of arms. The peacock is symbolic of personal pride. During the days of chivalry, one of the most solemn oaths were taken "on the peacock." In early days, the peacock was considered a great delicacy.
------------- Author: lars
13 November 2005
-In the western world, the peacock was referred to as a slayer of serpents. The shimmering colors of his tail feathers were explained by his supposed ability to transform snake venom into solar irridescence.
-Alchemists thought the fan of the peacock (cauda pavonis) is associated with certin texts and images that are useful in turning base metals into gold.
etc. etc. etc....
You could have chosen a far better simile, n'est-ce pas?
------------- Author: lars
13 November 2005
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