Oh dear. I tried to like this, I really did. I thought, "Ok, I'll expand my mind, explore something unfamiliar, it'll be ok, just give it a chance." But literally seconds into first track "Cheap Eyeliner", (which lasts 7.21 minutes) I concluded that it was unadulterated, self-indulgent nonsense. And this was supposed to be the 'stand out' track?
HELVISSA are a Midlands-based duo, who are currently churning out robotic-esque long-winded electronica pieces. The sort of pretentious naff that gets played/performed in some cliquey low-key TV/TS Cabaret nights.
I couldn't decide whether the lyrics are supposed to be ironic or they're just totally banal. I think its the latter. Even with one of the tracks being in French, I bet they were still talking about hair curlers or something. The delivery is dead pan, but with lyrics which I'm assuming are supposed to be profound and thought-provoking. But the overall effect is like listening to a check-out assistant in Kwik Save harp on about getting dumped, and how she's allergic to cheap make-up.
I imagine "Cheap Eyeliner" could be played at animals to anesthetise them just before they get put down. Believe me, after the initial numb stupor I experienced on listening to this, I felt like throwing myself out of the window in front of oncoming traffic - its an album that comprises of seven depressingly long and arduous tracks, of which the repetitive grinding electronic beats are the auditory equivalent of Japanese water torture. I think that even on the most mind-altering of substances, I still wouldn't get it.
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Maybe its just me, I honestly don't like to trash other people's music, especially small independents, but the appeal of this just completely went over my head.
After this aural assault was over, my colleagues found me huddled in a corner rocking back and forth, and sucking my thumb. The only antidote they could think of was to play the Dixie Chicks at me until I recovered.
Sad really, because maybe there are some glints of decency in their music, but if so, they get drowned out by the pretentious and long-winded cacophony that surrounds it.
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