Ask yourselves the question – do we really, honestly, need another “Darkness” stadium rock tribute band in our lives? Really?
Look at what happened first time round – Cock Rock rears it’s ugly head, and livens up the scene for a while, with tongue firmly in cheek (what type of cheek is debatable). Cock Rock then wants to be seen as credible. But tongue is still rammed in spandex-clad cheek, and it seems to be glued there, so any notion of credibility remains an unattainable pipe dream. Hairy folk ballads are the only feasible way forward, but that would mean forfeiting the sparkly jump-suits for Arran jumpers.
Enter THE ARK, who hail from Sweden, and have just finished touring with the Darkness – and who are here to deliver us from our free will, apparently.
Predictably, this band is a cheery hybrid of Spinal Tap, The Rocky Horror Show, and Meatloaf. At one point their music took a rather bizarre twist and became a bit Andrew-Lloyd-Weber, their performance (and what a performance!) turning into a melodramatic Cock-Rock-Opera-Fest.
“You guys!” shouted the flamboyant black leather clad Ola Salo (vox),“You wanna start a dancing revolution? Right here? Right now?!” To which almost everyone in the Barfly screamed and started jumping up and down. There was the typical heavy metal poses, the po-faced long haired and slightly older ‘other band members’,the Devil hand signs, the gnashing of teeth, etc. But
all in a very friendly, unthreatening, Euro-Pop-tastic kinda way.
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Ola Salo might look like the type of person who would own a Dungeon, but with lyrics such as “Let your body decide/Where you want to go/High or low/Fast or slow…” the effect is somewhat diluted. Good tune though, catchy as well, I knew all the words within seconds.
Things went slightly askew when Salo swung off the ceiling and threw himself into the sea of avid fans (the venue was packed tight as a can of black leather wearing sardines, mainly with Swedish au-pairs), and sank. The lead guitarist (ginger, old) then took the opportunity to take centre stage and fire a round of an epic guitar solos in our general direction. The drama was notched up when it transpired that the vocalist had not come up for air, so the guitar solo was extended for about 20 minutes while someone called in Mountain Rescue.
Eventually, Salo reappeared on stage, with black fluffy wings strapped to his back. Yes, that was correct. Black, fluffy, wings. After that it just got silly… Although their new single, "State of Ark" [Gospel According to Tap, more like] isn’t too bad at all.
So, taken with a pinch of salt, The Ark are great fun, even lovelable, but then was that not said about the Darkness way back when?
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