Death is not final. Unless you're an atheist, death is not our ultimate destination. But even if you are surely at some point you have felt the presence of those who have passed away. I'm not talking about ghosts here, but lingering memories of the past and the recently departed who occupy them.
Prior to receiving "Songs of the Soul" from contemporary classical composer Bryan Rowe (http://www.bryanrowe.net), my sister died. Listening to any music at that point became a struggle; I was unable to react emotionally with nearly everything that arrived my way. I began listening to "Songs of the Soul" with hesitation; I was worried that it would simply envelope me further in a shroud of depression. However, that was not the case. "Songs of the Soul" is a purging of the pain and the regret that follows the death of a loved one. Rowe's music is about healing, but the sorrow is evident, too. There were moments when playing the CD left me in tears; such is the power of music that it can break our hearts.
I have had an odd year. After losing my sister, my wife gave birth to a beautiful boy. There is poetry in the cycles of life, and in the act of saying goodbye and welcoming the future. Instead of just talking about Rowe and his album, I made the decision to interview him; I wanted to know the soul behind these songs.
Whisperin' & Hollerin': "Songs of the Soul" strikes me as being a spiritual work. Do you believe in the afterlife?
Bryan Rowe: Because of my faith journey, I do believe that there is something in store for us that is beyond our wildest imagination when we depart this world. I have had the extraordinary experience of witnessing, caring for, and holding my parents as they have passed. Conversations with my Dad the day before he passed convinced me even more of an afterlife. From the homily I gave at my Dad's funeral, I write: "This past Sunday, Dad asked me if I heard the thunder he was hearing - he said it sounded like a storm approaching. I did not hear that sound. He paused. Then he made a gesture and told me he was going to be whooshed up to heaven like this [show]. He had a clear idea of where he was going; it was evident." The art on "Songs of the Soul" intentionally attempts to show that transition to what's beyond this life.
W & H: Would you agree that the music you composed and performed on that album seem to reach beyond the physical, as if you are trying to touch a lost loved one once again?
Rowe: Because I am a spiritual person, I know that "Songs of the Soul" is a depiction in music of that longing, that grieving, the realization that the person who was once in your grasp is no longer in your grasp. It is a humanly incomprehensible experience in many ways to me to have someone very close to you one day and then not, the next. That is where faith steps in. If there is no faith, then you might as well say we are all doomed to only experience this world. Even with its seemingly endless string of joys and sorrows, I have to believe that as a spiritual being there is something greater to experience.
W & H: Somebody who was very dear to me recently passed away, and I listened to "Songs of the Soul" to help me deal with her passing. They say that when someone we love dies, a part of us cannot express into words the weight of that sudden void in our hearts. Did you feel that there was a wall you had to break through, creatively, to push your feelings through?
Rowe: First of all, I can empathize with you regarding losing dear persons in our lives; I am sorry for your loss and I can understand that pain and grief wholeheartedly. Adam, there is no wall to break through. Music is a wonderful way to communicate the unspoken. Several years ago, a close friend of mine, a priest, brought me into her office to share the following with me. She said that I, too, shared the same intuition, perception, and emotional gifts through my music as she does through her theology. Being perceptive emotionally can be a curse and a blessing. Because I am able to express emotion through my music naturally, I do not face barriers. I simply sit down at the piano and play. It is an odd experience quite frankly because what I play sometimes astounds me; I do not even think about it when it happens. That is why I am convinced that my music is a gift to be shared, a conduit to express emotion and to have others experience that emotion as well.
W & H: There were moments when, after I heard the CD for the first time, I found myself in tears. How does it feel as an artist to know that you can emotionally connect with complete strangers?
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Rowe: When I connect emotionally with strangers through my music, I am affirmed that what I do is something of a ministry. A ministry in the sense that the music can help release emotions and help others deal with pain, joy, grief - whatever there is going on in their lives. For me, my music takes me into the realm of the metaphysical and the sacred. I also believe that my music making for me is a calling.
W & H: You recorded "Songs of the Soul" in a single take. What happened then, Bryan?
Rowe: Adam, lots happened at the time. I lost a very close friend who I considered a surrogate parent; I witnessed the slow decline and death of my beloved aunt. And, in addition I was experiencing a gut-wrenching divorce. All of this emotion was building in my psyche, and I felt it physically as well. The anxiety and grief were paramount. I simply picked up the telephone on a Saturday morning and called my recording engineer Mike Hamilton- he met me at the studio to do the recording.
W & H: How were you able to perform all of this in one sitting?
Rowe: There is no logical explanation I can give that attempts to describe how Songs of the Soul was simultaneously composed and performed in one sitting with no second takes. I believe it was "just that time" to let go emotionally and let the psyche and "gift" take over. There is no other way to put it.
W & H: What was going through you?
Rowe: As mentioned above, life presents us with these challenges emotionally that push us to the depths. The experiences that I outlined above certainly gave me a great wealth of emotion to deal with, and the only way I knew how to express all of it was to sit down and play the piano. It was my release.
W & H: Which of the pieces on "Songs of the Soul" has the deepest meaning for you?
Rowe: There are two pieces that especially mean so much to me. "Love Mourned" was played with my surrogate mom and aunt in mind; while the melody is predominantly in a major key, the piece expresses irreversible personal loss. "Vexation of Spirit" lets it all out: the anger, the grief, the experience of letting go of several personal relationships which I had no control over.
W & H: What projects are you working on now?
Rowe: I am currently working on a new album entitled "The Tree of Life." I intend to feature a violinist, a cellist, and of course my good friend and hornist Phil Munds who together with me produced the CD "Spiorad" in 2006. Tracks on the new album will include the music I composed for my daughter's wedding as well as some seasonal offerings.
W & H: When does inspiration usually hit you to compose?
Rowe: The timing on composing is not of my choosing. Life events place me in front of the piano especially. Composing music for my wedding and for my daughter's wedding were givens- they were my gifts to my wife and to my daughter and her beau. However, I have this love of playing entire pieces which I have not played before while my wife is cooking dinner. And then I will say, I wish I had a recording of that because I am not confident that I can completely reproduce what I just played.
W & H: Do you have to be playing the piano or do fragments of sound play in your mind in random situations?
Rowe: I do not have to be playing the piano to hear the music; I am constantly hearing potential melodies in my mind. Music lives in my head for a while and then I take it to the piano. I am not one to sit and crank out a melody at the piano; the music just happens because it has lived and gelled in my psyche for some time.
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