Well I have to say, this is one of the most refreshing punk albums I’ve heard in a while. Lononers MONKISH were formed in 2005 and describe themselves as a “cabaret punk” band, yet this twelve track album (their first I think) is packed choc full of killer riffs and bawdy humour, the like of which hasn’t been seen (or heard) for a long time.
The front cover of the CD is a parody of all those 1950s ‘family’ cartoon advertisements, except for the photo of a large poo right in the foreground! The rear cover is an approximation of a Brasso tin.
Opening with ‘ASBO’, the band hits the ground running and there’s no looking back from thereon in. A lively guitar punk song with frantic vocals (some of which are indecipherable) this is the perfect introduction to the band: - “Went out and punched your momma, slapped your sister as well/ (?) family unit is now a living hell.” And with a chorus of “You’re an ASBO waiting to happen.” This is a great start to the album.
Immediately following this is ‘Shallow Bitch’: a Ramones style chainsaw guitar track, with some funny lyrics, all about taking his girl out to the local Wetherspoon’s and having to pay for them both. Here the singer asks the question: - “Maybe things would be different if I were rich?”
The band’s humour comes right to the fore with the amazing ‘17p For a Freddo’, lamenting the cost of today’s chocolate, most people would find themselves singing along to this after just a few plays: - “A Mars a day helps you work, rest and play/ But a Freddo will stop you from wasting away/ Can’t blame me for holding a grudge/ When a Freddo costs more than a finger of Fudge.”
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The humour is maintained with ‘D-List Celebrity Stalker’: a post punk styled guitar tune with some ska based overtones. In this song lead singer Brad Frugal recounts items that he’s got from said celebrities: - “Fern Brittan’s G-string, and Michael Barrymore’s water wings.” As well as what happened when he met the celebs: - “Peter Tatchell pinched my bum, swallowed Shane MacGowan’s chewing gum.” A rather frightful thought at the best of times knowing Shane’s dental shortcomings.
Other tracks that stood out for me were ‘Born To Play Up’, with its descending guitar line and self-deprecating humour and the album closer ‘Back on the Smack’, which is an excellent punk anti drugs song with some echoes of The Ruts in here: “Your eyes are like piss-holes in the snow. You said you had it under control/ What happened? What happened?”
If you like your punk and new wave with a large slice of Viz style toilet humour, then don't flush too quickly. This is the ideal album for you.
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